Zombie Outbreak In USA!

The living dead are a recurrent feature of many supernatural belief systems and can be found in just about every culture and as far back as history can be traced. For example, early Egyptian religion was characterized by obsession with the afterlife. The origins of such universal beliefs are arguably a feature of the way that young children reason about death. The concept of death is one that children struggle to understand and this may explain why various studies have shown that toddlers are inclined to afterlife beliefs. For example, my colleague Jesse Bering studied this in a 2004 study where  he told kindergarten children about a mouse that had been killed and eaten by an alligator.  The children agreed that the mouse was dead, but they thought the mind was still active. Such dualism of body and mind allows for the afterlife in the form of ghosts and spirits.

In contrast, zombies are the earth-bound animated bodies of the dead. In SuperSense, I discuss another universal belief in the rejuvenating powers of consuming flesh and the body of others. Not only is this evident in certain religious rituals but certain secular practices of absorbing the vitality of others is not uncommon in today’s society. Zombies apparently need to eat brains to keep, ‘staying alive.’ Such beliefs makes for great cultural horror stories, of which vampires are probably the most popular. 

zombies640_480Of course, we scientists, could be wrong. The living dead or zombies may really exist and we need to be observant. Thankfully, there are people out there willing and prepared to defend us from zombie attacks. Last week, motorists were alerted to an outbreak of zombies on the motorway. The motorway signs warned drivers of zombies ahead thereby averting a disaster. Without the quick wits of such people we may be caught off guard by the legions of the undead.

And what about our leaders? Are they prepared to protect us from the undead? I know that everyone thinks that President Obama is much better than the last guy but at least Bush recognized the problem of zombie attacks.


Filed under supernatural, Weird Story of the Week

23 responses to “Zombie Outbreak In USA!

  1. Bluemoon

    Oh Bruce LOL!! Actually why not zombies? I know we in the developed world think we are rational and scoff at such things but weren’t there some sort of poisons administered to the unsuspecting in the Caribbean who were thought to be dead but were heavily sedated then woke up with some brain damage and behaved like “zombies”? After all there are educated Westerners who believe we are descended from aliens and lizard like creatures live amongst us in disguise……ooops did I bring up the Tom Cruise issue again….sun’s up I better sneak back to my coffin….

  2. Bluemoon

    Forgot to ask, if a zombie’s body is still animate but they are “dead” what happens to their life force or soul? Is it hanging around watching them? They didn’t choose to be zombies it was forced upon them by other zombies so they may not be bad people so their souls may not have gone to hell…..are they ghosts? Sorry rambling confusion trying to rationalise what happens to their essence….

  3. The minute I heard George W trying to explain about the Zombies, it was clear to me Dick Cheney was at the bottom of it all. It had never occurred to me that Dick is a Zombie, however. I always thought that his brain had been put in an android the first time he went into the hospital for his heart and that all this time we’d been dealing with The Cheneybot. If Dick is a Zombie, that might explain why he shot his friend at the quail hunt. I thought he was just drunk.

  4. Bruce… you’ve uncovered a big international conspiracy here, for this issue is not just confined to the USA.

    I have often wondered about Norman Tebbit’s glare; how it could be both threatening yet vacant, and why the tories were in such a hurry to get rid of Michael Howard.

    Of course, the question of how Peter Mandelson keeps coming back from the dead has now been shown in a new light, err… darkness.

    Blimey, is it just me, or has it gone cold in here? Oh, it’s you Lady Thatcher. Funny, I thought you were dea……

  5. OMG! This is great! I think I love you, Bruce! Will you marry me?

  6. That’s the problem with Democrats – they’re just not tough on zombies! They’ll insist on spending money on saving the economy and the environment instead of paying Halliburton to build a zombie defence system. And what good is a healthy economy when a zombie is feasting on your brains, I ask?!

  7. brucehood

    NobblySan.. yes politicians are the most obvious undead without brains and in need of the youth vote.

    Julie P. Yes, of course. There is safety in numbers and we have to re-populate the human race after the armageddon. …. let me go ask my wife if it’s ok.

    Konrad… I hear that Obama has a program of re-forestation. He claims it’s for the environment but inside sources indicate a full scale wooden-stake-in-the-heart production line.

  8. “Julie P. Yes, of course. There is safety in numbers and we have to re-populate the human race after the armageddon. …. let me go ask my wife if it’s ok.”

    Bruce you and your wife can move to either to Utah or Texas with me. They like to practice polygamy there! 😉

  9. Bruce, I am very concerned. My post today is about a mouse which has taken up residence in my bathroom after a catnip-fuelled killing spree (I can’t keep off the stuff) led it into my lair. I had not considered the possibility that it could be a zombie mouse. Oh hang on, if that were the case, it’d be an alligator in my bathroom, right? Phew. Those I can deal with.

  10. you had me at “The living dead…” hehehe

    too fun!loved it!i wish i would have read this before posting bloggers helping bloggers this week! great post man!

  11. Oh man, did you see Charlie Brooker’s ‘Dead Set’? I coudn’t handle the gore, but it was definitely the feeling that I was watching Big Brother zombies and not the actual monsters they eventually became that terrified the bejeesus out of me.

    Though seeing Davina McCall tearing down that hallway ravenous for brains was brilliant.

    Meh, I’ve been known to bite people in Starbucks while waiting in a queue for my morning coffee. Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, y’know.

  12. tothewire

    ROFLMAO This was great! This international conspiracy theory, this one I get! Enjoyed it!

  13. poietes

    Man, spend one day in bed sick as a dog and look what happens–miss a whole zombie conspiracy. While you and the rest of the gang are planning to move to Utah and procreate to save the species, I’m stuck here, drinking Pepsi and eating my Twizzlers, thinking that Dick Cheney is just looking a little greener than usual, when all along, it’s because he’s a shy a few brains.

    I believe that all of that time I spent on another site talking about Rush Limbaugh could have been cleared up immediately if only I had visited here first. It’s all so clear to me now. Rush has eaten too many brains because he’s been known to gorge on occasion; hence, he’s on overload and is about to burst. Too bad he wasn’t caught in the big Bush sweep of beheadings.

    I do have a solution, though: when we build our church, we can incorporate some kind of zombie chant right before we pat our pastor’s behind. That way, we’ll all be safe. What do you think?

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  16. podblack

    “Grr, argh” 🙂

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  18. lorents

    you people are really dumb. the zombies are you and i. the people are the zombies. what do you think is going to happen when man made or natural disaster strikes? the people are going to be running around like chickens with their heads cut off looking for food and water. stealing and fighting to preserve thier own lives. taking from people who had the smarts enough to figure this all out and prepare for an overpopulation center in choas. wake up dum dums. your the zombies portrayed in the zombie movies. they just put a science fiction twist on them for entertainment purposes. it just never ceases to amaze me how fucking retarded you god damn people are.

  19. Chris Brewster

    Lets say that this “Zombie” BS is a way for the CDC to get the publics attention about out of control diseases in the near future. Who’s gonna listen to the CDC? Appearently not even our president. The CDC has gotta do it soome way.

  20. Anonymous

    Zombies are in USA! now it shows on the news lmao

  21. Anonymous

    i personally think anyone of yall who actually think that zombies are existing…need to see a doctor..and fast because obviously you all are mental!! If you actually READ a bible about the end of times it says NOTHING about a zombie takeover. It says in the bible “the dead will rise”, which means when Jesus comes back down to earth the first people or souls rather that he takes to heaven is the ones buried in the ground, hence the dead will rise…NOT zombies!! You all are fools and NO this world will not have a zombie takeover! Gah, i feel sorry for the people who spend their lives daily prepping for this “takeover” and teaching their kids and what not! Piece of advice for yall…when the world does end (which no man knows the end of time, not even the angels in heaven) all the preparation, and storing food/clothes/etc, WILL NOT save you from the wrath of God! Basically when that time comes and if your not saved, God takes his chosen people and the rest who have not chosen Him will perish in eternity of Hell. Like i said read a bible, especialy Revelations if you want to get the facts…

  22. Maygen

    We as a Country should prepare for anything. I personally think that not everything is in the Bible, I am a strong believer in God but that doesn’t mean I just blow off the possibilities. I’m open minded and NO ONE has the right to call anyone “Mental” because I believe if you don’t personally know them than you have no right to judge them. I find that really annoying that people call themselves religious people but always condemning others.

  23. Anonymous

    So stupid, I’m actually from where the construction sign that said beware of zombies it was a joke and kids got introuble…no there was no zombies… good try tho

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