Bolt Out of the Blue rather than UFO

turbine1The mystery of the damaged Lincolnshire wind turbine has finally been solved. Last month, it was claimed that one of the blades had been sheared off following a collision with an U.F.O. We may not be very religious but we are a nation of U.F.O. spotters. Those and trainspotters of course. 

On the night of the incident, John Harrison reported seeing a ball of light with its ‘tentacles’ over the wind farm. ‘It was an incredible sight, I have never seen anything like it before,’ he said. ‘I have no idea what it was.’ Also reported in the UK’s Daily Mail (that should set credibility alarm bells ringing), Dorothy Willows said she saw orangey yellow spheres. ‘I don’t believe in UFOs but it was a low-flying object,’ said Mrs Willows. Meanwhile a more credible witness was council chief, Robert Palmer, who said he had seen a ’round object with a slight red trim hovering near the top of the turbines’ that night too. 

‘When I heard what had happened I was slightly worried so I’ve called for a full health and safety review,’ said Mr Palmer, 66. ‘If the aliens are coming, I want to be there to meet and greet them.’ Sounds a bit like the concern of the Zombie invasion of the US that I reported last week.

Today we learn that the explanation for the mysterious destruction is a little more mundane. It wasn’t a bird, it wasn’t a plane, it wasn’t a block of ice and it certainly wasn’t a U.F.O. It was failure of the bolt housing. Remarkable, how the rumor of a U.F.O. suddenly generates reported sightings. 

8 Comments

Filed under In the News, Newspaper, Weird Story of the Week

8 responses to “Bolt Out of the Blue rather than UFO

  1. poietes

    Failure of the bolt housing? That’s so boring. Couldn’t we pretend it’s a zombie UFO invasion that involves the zombies eating the brains of all of the livestock, and the only people who will be protected are those who rub the pastor’s bum in the New Church of the Anti-Zombie Faith in All Who Believe in the Power of Beta Blocking Thought Waves? I like that much better than a stupid bolt housing . . .

  2. ‘They’ want you to believe it was a failure of the bolt housing. Whatever in the hell that is. Our overlords are coming, and I for one welcome them with open arms if they’re reading.

  3. If our overlords are indeed coming, I hope they bring a decent set of spanners (wrenches, for our transatlantic cousins) with them. I would hate for one of them to get angered when clocked on the back of the head by a falling rotor blade.

  4. Don’t you just have to cringe with embarassment at the thought of aliens being greeted by a local council official?

    He’d be waving a risk-assessment form at them, and pointing out that parking ones flying saucer within 57 metres of a wind turbine is in direct contravention of Health and Safety Executive ruling 37.2.8 clause 3.2 (Craft, interplanetary, and the parking thereof).

  5. Nobbly – your post reminds me of an incident in a small town in the south of france a few years ago, when we were unfortunatley involved in a nasty car accident on the way back from our holidays.

    Luckily all three adults and four children were fine (shaken of course) but both cars were written off. In amongst the chaos of three fire crews, two police officers and a hyperventalating female french driver (cause of said accident), there were no english speaking locals around so we were relying on my (not so good) school girl french to communicate, when I was taken to one side and introduced to a rather smart looking French lady.

    An interpreter I thought smiling gratefully at her, until I realised that she too spoke no english… turns out she was the Mayor and had come to the scene of the accident to welcome us to her town!!

    I think those aliens might just think it rather sweet when they are formally welcomed by a local official, especially if they are wearing their chains of office!

  6. government is just covering it up…the aliens are coming!the aliens are coming!but instead of the christians being whisked away, they will be left behind!hehehe

  7. anyone watch that movie left behind?made a great scifi movie!

  8. poietes

    Whose behind was left?

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