Coca-Cowla

cowlickinghand-1You may shudder at the udder thought of it, but the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India’s biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, plans to launch a new drink, cow urine in a can.

The cow is sacred in Hindu society and the belief is that drinking its urine and eating small amounts of cow poop is good for you. Don’t worry, we are informed that once processed, the cow pee, “won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too.” Oh, that’s ok then. Can I have mine as an ice-cream float?

Unlike Coca-Cola and Pepsi, it is believed that cow urine is medicinal. They plan to take on Coca-Cola and Pepsi and even export to outside of India.

Somehow, I think that teaching the whole world to sing is easier that getting them to swallow this supernatural belief.

13 Comments

Filed under supernatural, Weird Story of the Week

13 responses to “Coca-Cowla

  1. I’ll have mine with a beef madras, if that’s OK.

  2. Bluemoon

    Hey guys it’s Valentines day! Purlees can we get off the excrement and move on to sweet smelling Cupid’s bow?? I’m looking forward to a long marriage blessed by pink hearts, balloons, chocolates shaped like hearts, red roses, cards and all the rest of the paraphernalia that goes with this auspicious day. Does cow urine improve your luck in love??

  3. Surely, there are three things going on here. One is the Hindu supernatural belief that cow urine is good for you. The second is the actual properties of the ‘processed’ urine. And the third? The western feeling of disgust toward urine and anything that has been in contact with it, that has more to do with contagion as studied by Rozin and Nemeroff.

  4. Bluemoon

    Hey Ram, is there space on the shelves in the Convenience Store? I’m sure this could be a big seller for you and there is no mention of a sell by date! Are you interested in importing this beverage?

  5. I guess we are all drinking processed urine on a daily basis if we use a tap which draws its supplies from the local water treatment outfit.
    Every year our school would organise a trip to said outfit. The tampon seen floating in one tank (the one before they offered us all a glass of ‘fresh’ water) went down in urban legend.
    I once interviewed someone who drank her own urine for its health-giving properties. I declined her offer of tea.

  6. This is nothing new; it’s been on sale here in the UK for years.

    I first realised when I saw a tanker leaving the local dairy farm, and on the side it bore the legend…

    CARLSBERG – Probably the best bovine waste product in the world.

  7. Ram Venkatararam

    Bluemoon, I would be proud to sell this in my store. Although I hope it’s caffeinated and heavily sugared – I have a lot of preteens hooked on cola and they can get pretty ugly when they start to come down.

    I think we’ll have to be careful on the marketing end. Not sure about Coca-Cowla…what do you think of Peepsi Cola?
    or Dr. Peeper? I’ll keep working on it.

    Thanks for the post, Bruce.

  8. poietes

    I vote for Peepsi Cola . . .

    Hey, the Japanese women up until who know when believed that drinking baby urine kept the skin young and vital.

    I’ve had some pretty bad beer on tap that tasted kind of like skunk piss. But I think that’s as close as I could come because I was in college and therefore had not developed my fine palate yet . . .

  9. brucehood

    Peepsi Cola… you’re a genius Ram… definitely wasted behind the counter of the Food Here store. Well maybe not wasted but really, the advertising world is missing out on one master of copy.
    b.

  10. Don’t…remind me of….’Waterworld’. My friends and I used to go to the $1 theatres purely to watch the shitest films out at the time (ConAir, Broken Arrow etc etc) and we actually had to walk out of that Kevin Costner crap pile.

    Personally, as long as it had the uriney-ness mellowed down I would drink this stuff. I used to drink Mountain Dew with my tacos all the time in the US, which is pretty much the same as wee.

  11. EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW.

  12. brucehood

    East West… East west… East West… Sorry Driftingfocus but I was losing direction!

  13. Great hammer of Thor, that is poluefrlwy helpful!

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