I Think I May Need Exorcism

Me on an off day

The New York Times ran a piece today about the increased demand for exorcism. Despite there being only a handful of priests who are trained to exorcise demons, the American Catholic Church is holding a conference to discuss plans to bring an exorcist to every neighborhood.

According to Bishop Paprocki, signs of demonic possession include speaking in a funny voice, extraordinary strength, an aversion to Holy water or the name of God, severe sleeplessness, lack of appetite and cutting, biting or scratching the skin. Hmm that all sounds a bit familiar.  My accent is considered odd, I am not too keen on Holy water or God worshippers, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months, not much appetite at the moment and my skin has been incredibly itching recently. Only thing missing is the extraordinary strength. Maybe I should check myself in for a spiritual check-up.

A person who claims to be possessed must be evaluated by doctors to rule out a mental or physical illness, according to Vatican guidelines issued in 1999, which superseded the previous guidelines, issued in 1614. Much of that was prompted by the killing of a psychiatrically disturbed German girl Annelise Michel during an exorcism in 1976.

Some see this increased interest in exorcism as an attempt to bring the supernatural back to the forefront of the church activities but I wonder if it is a ploy to direct attention away from it’s more recent sordid, sexual activities.



Filed under In the News, supernatural

10 responses to “I Think I May Need Exorcism

  1. Well the Bishop did say this: “The Devil doesn’t normally possess someone who is leading a good spiritual life.”


  2. I think it’s the fault of those “reality” shows where they go looking for “ghosts” in the houses of people who desperately want to be on telly.

  3. Steve

    a rise in exorcisms could be from the increased popularity of vegans. not eating meat will make you go nuts.

  4. I got rid of my evil spirits years ago, but I didn’t pay my exorcist bill, and now I’m afraid of being repossessed.

  5. Andrew Atkinson

    I do chuckle at your cynicism here, in that maybe, this is indeed a ploy to draw attention from real world sex crimes toward unreal world phobia. I know there are a few who feel I need an exorcism. But I like my demons, and I am only to happy to provide them sanctuary and feel this is very Christian of me. It’s not the demons themselves that pose a problem – it’s that I can’t find a herd of wild boar to cast then in to, or a prescriptive methodology for doing so.

    Can you put them on Freecycle these days?

  6. What? No spewing pea soup? No levitation? These holy men are off their game!

    In all seriousness, I’m disappointed that there are still people in the 21st century who believe in demonic possession. This superstitious nonsense has no place in modern society.

  7. I an interested in the issue of exorcism. Today this activity is not as popular an eye catcher as it was before.are various portals of time clogged with spirits 14 doors to each human spirit and trudgeon obstacle courses like huge labyrinths flowing through supernatural arias going at indeterminate lengths down long corridors of to many ceremonies of ritual retardations untreatable, with no ariadnes thread but habitual conpulsions and happy happy habits of survivalism and entertaining every deception illusion and placating every strange whorewraithe even mirrors arent infidels.directions none and the past unraveled tho not entirely undone.battling your invocations again? And where is the valley of the dolls?

  8. Samantha

    I think about this all the time. I seriously think I need an exorcist. Sounds crazy but I am spiritual and I think why not try it I’m open minded I think about death all the time I have migraines and epilepsy so that may be why, anyways it really is an interesting topic with not a lot of hype! Curious to say the least

  9. Exorcism – We are removing pacts with demons and pure obsession!
    The ceremony may take several minutes or days. We are using strictly well-defined exorcism formulas to take demons under exorcist commands. These services are only for cases where it is sufficiently established “obsession with devil/demon”, such cases are the hardest, rarest, but also the most expensive …
    In the world there are very few exorcists, because removal of the pact with a demon or his direct obsession is deadly for both exorcist and the demons victim.
    If you suspect that your close possessed by a demon, send us his recent photo, date and place of birth to verify that this is really possessed by a demon.
    In addition, we removing all magical damage (bewitch, curse, enchantment, larvae, phantoms, energy vampires, etc.), disable the negative zone and doing a subsumption souls through a magical ritual.
    Secret.science01@gmail.com /skype: secret.science

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