Hitler Joins the Osmonds

Hitler Joins the Osmonds

The Church of the Latter-Day Saints or Mormons believe that you cannot enter heaven unless you have been baptized. So if you die unbaptized then you don’t get in. One way around is to perform a baptism for the dead where a Church member may be baptized on behalf of that deceased person. Seems a bit daft but what is more surprising is that the Mormons have taken it upon themselves to baptize those who don’t share this belief such as the millions of Jewish victims of the Nazi Holocaust or those who probably don’t deserve a place in everlasting paradise, namely the worst Nazis themselves. Yes, that’s right a baptism for the dead was held for Adolf Hitler on Dec 10th,1993 in London.

Initially, the Mormons denied that the ceremony had taken place but it is clear from this blog, that Hitler had been converted to Mormonism, even if he did not know it. They even tried to delete the entry, but the record here appears to confirm that Hitler had been “endowed” (funny that, I had always heard rumours to the opposite) into the Mormon church in Utah. Needless to say, all these shenanigans of baptizing Holocaust victims and prominent Nazis upsets the Jewish community. Apparently, the LDS Church has removed over 300,000 names of Jewish Holocaust victims from its databases and discouraging these forms of vicarious baptism. But then, if you don’t believe in another group’s voodoo and hexes, then maybe baptism for the dead should just be ignored.

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9 responses to “Hitler Joins the Osmonds

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Hitler Joins the Osmonds | -- Topsy.com

  2. Last time baptism for the dead became a topic over at Pharyngula, I made a point very similar to your last sentence, though my point was more that as tasteless as this is, the central Mormon church is doing things that are directly harmful to living people in the here and now, and that maybe this is less of a concern. Being that this was Pharyngula, I got called a Mormon sympathizer for saying so. Oy….

    Anyway, you realize that it is not just that they do baptism for the dead — a member stands in as a “proxy” for the deceased. (That’s why Mormons sometimes refer to it as “baptism by proxy”) Imagine the person who was getting dunked for this!

    “Bruce M. Hood, I baptize you for and in behalf of Adolph Hitler, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.” DUNK!

    Makes a killer’s cardigan seem rather a walk in the park, eh? ;p

    As you may have guessed from my familiarity with the procedure, I actually, eh, did this (it was done to me?) as a teen. Only usually it’s not some famous person or some direct relative of yours; it’s just a list of names that have been compiled by others doing genealogical work. And they do it fast, assembly line style, 10 or 15 names in a row. So you get dressed up in what is basically a white jumpsuit, and you wait with your friends until they call you into the baptismal font, and then:

    “James Sweet, I baptize you for and in behalf of So-and-so, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.” DUNK! “James Sweet, I baptize you for and in behalf of Such-and-such, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.” DUNK! “James Sweet, I baptize you for and in behalf of….” etcetera

    The thing is (and this is what got me called a Mormon apologist, even though I am anything but!), while to outsiders this appears horribly macabre and creepy, the reality of it is entirely banal, trite even. It’s tasteless, for sure… but in practice, it is less on the sinister side, and more on the stupid and boring side. Silly, even.

    OTOH, the Mormon church only granted full membership to African Americans in 1978 (yes, that’s a nine in the second digit, not an eight), is probably the single largest force against recognizing same-sex marriage in the United States (the Catholic church has more money, but the Mormon leadership — believe it or not — is even more pissed off about it than the Catholic leadership), is behind a number of ex-gay camps (which I frankly think ought to be illegal), discourage birth control in the third world, and all sorts of other horrible sins. In comparison, dunking some teens in some water while they mutter random names of dead people… it seems pretty innocuous by contrast.

  3. brucehood

    Thanks for sharing James. Having not ever taken part in any of these bizarre rituals, it is interesting to get an insider’s perspective. As to Pharyngula, I rarely visit these sites which have been occupied by pedants who get off on putting each other down for even the slightest hint of weakness, inaccuracy or compromise. Life is really too precious and short to waste it in such a way.

  4. Arno

    That is some very cool information, James. Cheers🙂
    I am also a bit surprised about this, as I believe Hitler was baptised as a Roman Catholic (and this was never retracted). So I take it that the Mormons believe that only someone baptised in the Mormon tradition can go to heaven then?

  5. So I take it that the Mormons believe that only someone baptised in the Mormon tradition can go to heaven then?

    Enter the Celestial Kingdom (which is the highest form of heaven), yes. (Other afterlife alternatives include the Terrestrial Kingdom, the Telestial Kingdom, and Outer Darkness. And although they are not doctrinally specified, at least not that I am aware of, each Kingdom is said to have several sub-levels. Yeah, it’s complicated.)

    A Catholic baptism would be particularly inadequate, because Mormons are one of those sects who believes that only baptism by immersion counts, i.e. your whole body has to be under water. Like seriously, if a toe is sticking out of the water, they will dunk you again. And I remember hearing people tell stores like this, where people had to be dunked several times (at their own baptism, not at a dead guy baptism) to make sure they got immersed all the way — these stories were supposed to be inspiring or something, like “Look at their faith!”, but of course now looking back it all seems quite screwy.

    But yeah, even a baptism by immersion performed by another sect would not be considered adequate. The baptizer has to hold the “keys to the priesthood”. Heh, technically, I’ve still got the priesthood, or at least the lesser of the two (the Aaronic priesthood, whose pronunciation is damn close to “ironic”… one really wonders if Joseph “The Angel That Spoke To Me Was Called Moroni” Smith was intentionally trying to make a funny). Wanna be baptized? :p

  6. Wait, does Adolph’s presence call into question the Osmond’s One Bad Apple hypothesis?

  7. Jacob Vohs

    Well, like the Osmonds said:
    One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch girl
    Oh, I don’t care what they say,
    I don’t care what you heard.

  8. Damn. I am so glad that’s been taken care of as it’s yet another pressing issue that contributes to my ongoing insomnia and neuroses. Knowing that the likes of Hitler can get into heaven either via the mormons or the catholics makes me actually long for something as simple as a killer’s cardigan, or belly button lint, or whatever.

    Hey. I’m holiday sleep deprived.

  9. Arno

    A hilarious animated movie that describes the effect of the above re-christening on the afterlife of a viking.
    Just thought it fitted nicely with the general tendency of the thread.

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