Daily Archives: May 4, 2011

Welcome to Head Lice Control

When my girls were younger,  I remember the horror of discovering their first infestation of head lice. Despite the reassurances that “lice prefer clean hair” you still feel that a hoard of aliens have taken of the head of your beloved child. After the third or fourth reoccurrence, you resigned yourself to the truth that all kids get them but that some parents were less concerned about treating them. I can understand. You have to shampoo the hair and then comb out the lice and eggs. It was like painting the Forth Road Bridge – an endless task.

One HELCU - yours for £19

Anyway, that could all change. If you go to Wincanton, Somerset (Yet another example of woomongery in my neck of the woods – must be something to do with all the leigh lines we have about here) you arrive at the Maperton Trust which according to their website is Head Lice Control.  We are told that 20 years of research has lead to the development of the HELRU (head lice repelling unit). What is this amazing innovative technology that combats the fiendish pediculosis capitis? Why it’s a £19 badge with a picture of a unicorn on it. Does it work? Sure. Why not check out the testimonial from a school teacher who wrote,

To whom it may concern

I am a primary school teacher who has been troubled with head lice since I began teaching nearly five years ago. I started using the Maperton Trust’s device about four months ago. The lice disappeared within a few weeks and have yet to return despite the fact that the children in my class continue to suffer from them.

Fiona Woods

Or consider the letter from a grandmother

Further to my telephone call to you today re-head lice badge, I enclose a cheque for 3 which you have reserved for me. I got one for my grand-daughter Tanya in January and until begining of April when she unfortunately lost it she hadn’t had any ‘Lice’ but within a few days of losing it my daughter found some again, as she had mixed with children that had them, so we believe the badge does work, and hopefully you may have some requests for more, as 2 of these are for Tanya’s friends.

Thank you,

Yours faithfully,

Mrs. E. Hobbs.

And if that is not enough just check out this brilliant statistical analysis of a twelve week trial based on 28 children.

This swings it for me!

Apparently this evidence has not been enough to satisfy the Advertising Standards Agency who have told the Maperton Trust to remove the claims from their website. What cynics. Anyway if you take the time to explore the Maperton Trust site you can discover all manner of amazing science such as radionics and brain broadcasting. This Trust and all of its groundbreaking work appears to be the brainchild of Gordon who is featured on the site alongside many of his animals at his barn in Wincanton. Here he is with his horse. His cat also features prominently on his site but unlike other country animals, I am sure that none of these have fleas. That’s because they have a picture of a unicorn protecting them.

I really should go into this business!


Filed under In the News, supernatural