Jesus With A Stiffy?

Usually, Catholics see him in pizza slices, cheetos or even the backside of a dog (though the last one is considered sacreligious). However, this time the tables are turned and Oklahoman parishioners are seeing something else in a ten foot image of Christ on the crucifix that hangs over the main alter in St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church in Warr Acres.

Is this anatomically correct?

Janet Jaime, the artist who was commissioned to make the piece, copied a 12th century icon of Jesus known as the San Damiano Cross that is a Franciscan icon kept in Assisi. The abdomen in the original is supposed to be a depiction of Christ’s distended stomach as he suffers but as you can see, the image on the Oklahoman Jesus is decidedly phallic.

The original San Damiano Cross in Assisi

Monsignor Edward Weisenburger of the Oklahoma City Archdiocese said he has no problems with the crucifix. He said the archdiocese has received no complaints about it. However, it would appear the some of the more senior members of the church have come over all queer by the sight of Jesus with a stiffy.

Parishioner Seanene Smith said, “I was horrified. I believe in freedom of expression. I believe in artistic freedom. I believe that a church is a holy place, and I certainly don’t want people telling anyone how to worship, but I was shocked, stunned, and if I hadn’t been prepared already, I think I would have just been ill.”

The Church seniors can’t see what the problem is.  There again, with the recent revelations about Catholic Priests and pedophilia, maybe they don’t see anything at all.


Filed under In the News, Weird Story of the Week

10 responses to “Jesus With A Stiffy?

  1. Arno

    Considering how some people (including Frazer) claim that Jesus was just a modified fertility deity, I can definitely appreciate the unintended irony of the depiction. And I have to admit, he looks rather impressive, though I have to say that he still ain’t got nothing on Priapos.

  2. what the hell kind of name is Seanene?

  3. Arno

    Not a very popular one But probably a bastardized version of Seaneen, which is supposedly ‘Australian’, which I will sarcastically interpret as “Irish/English, but long out of fashion in Europe”

  4. Whoa. Jesus as man is perfectly acceptable, but hello? I know that I did a double take . . . Likely the church seniors probably took it as a sign that priests should walk around with chubbies.

  5. Ruby

    What the hell kind of name is Myra?

  6. dmabu


    but you have NO ANSWER TO DEATH… therefore you FAIL…





    Shermer – Harris – Myers – Dawkins – Randi VS. NOSTRADAMUS – EINSTEIN – MARKUZE

    you’re ANNIHILATED!


    Repent and turn to God.

  7. dmabu

    a mr hood

    you are a trivial and insignificant thinker…

  8. I saw the same image on another site. I couldn’t think of a thing to say there and am still dumbfounded here. But at least I get to click the “Notify me of new post via emails” box!

  9. brucehood

    You are very welcome izaakmak!..
    Thanks for visiting and commenting!

  10. Arno

    dmabu, baby, you were doing great there, but I really think, that your ending was awful. I really think you need to add “repent” and “god” in caps as well. Now it just doesn’t work.
    Guess what? I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more Caps Lock.

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